My gift

World peace, ending world hunger, boosting the economy, curing cancer, housing the homeless, making everyone skinny, everyone beautiful. As a sixteen year old girl, what can I do? Or, more like, what can I give? I can barely hold a 3.5 grade point average, I can’t manage my anger towards my brother, I make macaroni and cheese on my dinner nights, my college of choice is “wherever I get accepted”, my career of choice is “undecided”, and my ACT score is a low twenty-one. So what is it that I can do, what can I give, that someone would want? We would all like to change the world, from “paying it forward”, to becoming President of the United States. And yet the unsatisfactory thought of, failure to change the world in a huge way, creeps into our minds, and keeps us down. The fact is that we can! Just because we don’t have headlines in the newspaper dedicated to us, or we can’t see the immediate effect we have had on the world around us, doesn’t mean that we haven’t accomplished something potentially life-altering. After pondering this for days I have decided who I extend my gift to. I give it to all those who will listen, or rather, to all those who need someone to listen, I give them my attention. I give them my care, and I give them my friendship.
The heartache hurts, I know; the post-crying headaches, I am all too familiar with. I just need someone there with me, someone to hold me and let me cry without saying anything. And isn’t that the gift that of all people, I should be the one to give? Be a sanctuary not tangible to the human body, but to the human mind, for those who need me the most.
We all have that feeling of being alone, in our own despair. The feeling that no one, no matter what, can comprehend what we are going through. Subconsciously, we know we are wrong, and yet, we would rather be alone. Why would we want to suffer alone when we have those friends that are there for us? Is that not what friends are for? Often people just need to know that someone cares, and that they aren’t alone.
Recently a friend and I were driving around and he seemed sad. So I started to open up to him, tell him how I was feeling. When I was finished, I asked him if he was okay. A flood of unwelcome emotion washed over his face as he proceeded to tell me what has been going perfectly wrong in his life. It was sad, and for most of what he told me there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say to make it better. All I could do was tell him how sorry I was, and that things weren’t his fault. I felt so helpless, but then he thanked me. He thanked me for listening, and being there for him. That is when I decided that there may not be solutions to every problem in the world, but if all I contribute is my attention, and care, for those that I directly affect, for those who need me.
I know what you are thinking, and you are right. There is no logical way for me to befriend and listen to every single person who is in need of one. So how am I supposed to give my gift? Every person has a circle of influence, those people surrounding them that they affect the most. I can not be love and genuinely care about every single person I come to know, that is one of my downfalls, but maybe this gift that I give to others will in turn help me see in others what they don’t portray themselves.
Across the globe, my name will stay unknown, across the nation, I will stay un-heard of, and across the state my name will stay undiscovered. But the small effect that I will have on those who matter most to me will overpower it all. My gift I give to all those in my reach, and I give my hope and my faith in healing to all those I can’t.

My Gift, My Sanctuary

(I am not done with it! there will be more)

World peace, ending world hunger, boosting the economy, curing cancer, housing the homeless, making everyone skinny, everyone beautiful. As a sixteen year old girl, what can I do? Or, more like, what can I give? I can barely hold a 3.5 grade point average, I can’t manage my anger towards my brother, I make macaroni and cheese on my dinner nights, my college of choice is “wherever I get accepted”, my career of choice is “undecided”, and my ACT score is a low twenty-one. So what is it that I can do, what can I give, that someone would want? We would all like to change the world, from “paying it forward”, to becoming President of the United States. And yet the unsatisfactory thought of, failure to change the world in a huge way, creeps into our minds, and keeps us down. The fact is that we can! Just because we don’t have headlines in the newspaper dedicated to us, or we can’t see the immediate effect we have had on the world around us, doesn’t mean that we haven’t accomplished something potentially life-altering. After pondering this for days I have decided who to receive my gift. All those who will listen, or rather, to all those who need someone to listen, I give them my attention. I give them my care, and I give them my friendship.
The heartache hurts, I know; the post-crying headaches, I am all too familiar with. I just need someone there with me, someone to hold me and let me cry without saying anything. And isn’t that the gift that of all people, I should be the one to give? Be a sanctuary not tangible to the human body, but to the human mind, for those who need me the most.
We all have that feeling of being alone, in our own despair. The feeling that no one, no matter what, can comprehend what we are going through. Subconsciously, we know we are wrong, and yet, we would rather be alone. Why would we want to suffer alone when we have those friends that are there for us? Is that not what friends are for? Receiving a call in the middle of the night, from a friend that is disoriented and in need of comfort, who wouldn’t try to help them? Often they just need to know that someone cares, that they aren’t alone.

Forgotten Love

Could you give my heart,

Back?

Everytime i am around

you i feel its presents.

I miss it,

So i try to be

around you often.

but since thats

not working out.

I want it back.

My Life (Fight)

FIGHT if you ever want to achieve,

FIGHT for those who can't,

or for those who wont,

FIGHT if you ever have witnessed a crime.

FIGHT.

FIGHT if you have been funny or liked,

at someone else' expense.

FIGHT if you dont want to fight over "there",

FIGHT for the weak,

and the illprepared,

FIGHT.

FIGHT if you've ever been broken hearted,

slammed down on the ground,

and you darted.

FIGHT.

FIGHT for the cowards,

for the lovers, unloved,

FIGHT if you've ever told

a young one,

everything will be okay,

FIGHT if it wasn't.

FIGHT.

i rEmEMbeR...

i remember the warm

brick

ground in my backyard,

the summer mornings when the

sun would heat them, and

i would go out and soak in the

sun.

i remember yellow walls.

i remember jeremy my first

boyfriend.

i remember mud fights in

a stream with jocelyn,

the mud

dried and we washed off.

i remember the tingly

feeling i felt every-

time _____ held my hand.

i remember when _ _ _ _ _

held my hand i

felt

nothing.

i remember being dissapointed.

Journal Entry

The Woman in Black (prompt #13)

"COME BACK!"

She screamed to the waters, over and over again. Wiping a tear from her cheek, "COME BACK!" The black dress represents the death and mourning. The death and mourning of a dear friend. She thought to herself how she could quite possibly lose everything she had. Her job, her Other friends, the respect of her family and everyone around her, and possibly her freedom. her failed attempt to calm herself down by inhaling and exhaling, turned into hyperventilation. After all she has been through in the recent months, the loss of her friend would be the one to send her over the edge.
"COME BACK!"
"IT'S not going to come back Melanie, you know that. IT'S gone forever." a subtle yet condescending Voice sounded.
The look on her face changed from surprise to confused. What was The Voice talking about? What is IT? Surely The Voice is not referring to my dear friend. She searched for where the voice originated, but found nothing, but herself spinning around in circles finding hopeless nothings.
"IT?" she questioned aloud.
"There is no friend, Melanie, you KNOW what IT is. Do not be naive."
The Voice slowly faded out, and resided in her as a feeling of bewilderment. She knew what the voice meant, she did not want to except it, but the mere fact that she even heard the voice proved it true. No... Had she really lost her mind instead of a dear friend? Could she be wearing this black dress to mourn the loss of her sanity? Damn.
"COME BACK SANITY!"

Farrah

Matthew: I'm kind of... new at this.

Farrah: I can tell.

Matthew: You can?

-silence-

Farrah: Well usually the meeting place isn't a public coffee shop. You wont make eye contact, and you are sweating profusely.

Matthew: Oh.

Farrah: Matth...

(cut off)Matthew: It's Matt, you can call me Matt.

Farrah: Ok, Matt, What are you so scared of? It's just one night, not even the entire night, because i am not sure if you could afford that.

Matthew: Yes, but i could lose everything, i have a wife and kids at home.

Farrah: That is not my business, i just do what i am paid for. (taking off her jacket and placing it in her lap)

Matthew: Yeah...

Farrah: I don't know you, or your situation. But, you are being charged already for my time, s(cut off)Matthew: I know, I know. My car is parked right outside.

(Farrah stands up, bends over and gets close to Matthews face and whispers)

Farrah: Let's go then...